Fun in the sun
by Kyrillia
Summary: Twinfic. Holiday with the Merovingian. How much worse can it possibly get?
1. Default Chapter

Well I thought if I´m not able to have a decent holiday because I have no money at all I could at least have holiday written down on a piece of paper sigh

I´m not sure yet which characters to include into this little fic so I need your help!

Who wants to see Neo or some of his friends?

Or have a little romance?

Please leave a review!

**Fun in the sun**

„Aahhh...here we are at last! "The Merovingian said merrily and placed a white-red striped towel with uttermost concentration on one of the two deck chairs.

Holiday.

In south France.

On the beach.

Two sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose in disgust. The smell of old deep frying fat, naked sweating fat bodies and suntan lotion flowed over to the precious stamp-sized area they had discovered after hours of searching.

Damned tourists!

He had liked to scratch his slender nose and made a snippy comment to his twin if there hadn't been the luggage Persephone had loaded them, the Twins and the two werewolves, with. He himself carried two big picnic boxes made of wicker, a silken spread, several plastic buckets and Persephone's beauty case, which was awfully bulky and heavy.

And his brother couldn't even see him thanks to the multisized sunshade he held.

They set down the whole stuff while Persephone carefully draped herself on the second deck chair.

Two got over to One who was fighting the sunshade.

"Why us?" he grumbled.

"Just relax, I mean how much worse could it possibly get?" Two tried to comfort him.

Then he shook his left foot. Sand in the boots.

Round them the people kept staring. Mainly at Persephone who wore a bikini that didn't leave much to imagine.

Filth.

Scum, all of them.

"Maybe we are allowed to stay under the sunshade; the sun will do us no good." He suggested.

One just looked at him.

"You two!" it suddenly yelled out of the Merovingian's direction.

"Get over here!"

Sighing, they accompanied the Merovingian who meanwhile had dressed into a white silken bathrobe with little green seahorses embroidered on it.

He opened his laptop.

It was then when Two knew that something terrible was about to happen and that they wouldn't likely be allowed to spend the rest of the dreaded day under the sunshade.

"Mes amis, look at you! Look at you!" the Merovingian gestured with a manicured hand while accepting a third martini from Cain.

One looked at his brother who was his identical twin. They looked like always. What was there possibly to complain?

"We're at the beach, mes amis. La plage! And now look at you! What will the people think of us, he?"

One felt Two tense next to him. Cain and Abel snickered.

"I cannot accept this. I will care for a more...suitable outfit. Don't worry, I have taste. I'm French after all!"

"Oh oh!" Two murmured.

The Merovingian started typing something on his laptop and like always when their master altered the code the world around them seemed to slow down and got green and blurry. Just as One eyed a young couple getting _very_ intimate only a few steps to his left with great interest (at least something he could imagine doing himself at this awfully day), he felt something unfamiliar caress his arms and legs.

Air?

Delaying the unavoidable, he first looked at his twin.

"Yes, that's much better!" the Merovingian said satisfied.

Next to him Cain and Abel desperately tried to hold the laughter back. Even Persephone, who usually was their ally, seemed to cough into a handkerchief.

Instead of their usual white suit they now wore beige bermuda shorts and white linen shirts, with shudder little green embroidered seahorses.

He looked down on his feet.

He was wearing toe sandals.

Oh the disgrace!

Smugly, the Merovingian shut his laptop and leaned back.

"I need to torture something!" One hissed thirty minutes later through clenched teeth. They were sitting under the sunshade. On the sand of course for there were only two damned chairs. Another point joining his anger. Not only felt he like a little school boy sitting like this, no he just had discovered that they didn't wear anything else underneath these very loose cut bermuda shorts.

Briefly said he had sand between...well I'm sure you know what I mean!

As no response came from Two One nudged him hard.

Two was watching the water with a mix of fascination and disgust.

"What is it?" One snapped as Two gestured towards a fat woman with two very small children who were happily playing in the waves.

"See the little boy?" Two whispered.

"Yes?"

"I could swear he wore a diaper as they got into the water!"

"And?" One was bored.

"Now he's naked..."

"Oh please don't do this to me! Dinner's going to be served in a few minutes!" One grew a shade paler if that was even possible.

"That's not all! See the young man there on the surf board?" Two said whispered without mercy.

"No I don't want to!" One shuddered.

"He has.."

"Two please! Don't say it!!"

"..a fresh gash."

Oh the fascination of horror!

"Eeewww! Filthy humans! I swear I never go swimming again! Disgusting, really!"

"You two!" it yelled again from behind.

The twins got up and brushed sand from their clothes.

Persephone had got up from her deck chair and slipped out of her high heeled shoes.

More staring and drooling from the crowd around.

The Merovingian looked up from his feet which were massaged by an unhappy looking Cain, now wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt.

"My lovely wife wants to take a bath and you two will accompany her!"


	2. 2

Fun in the sun

Part 2

Smirking, Two sat on the wet sand and let the water rinse his naked feet.

He was excused from further swimming (Persephone had accidentally kicked him in the groin as he got too close to her) and now he was watching his brother "securiting" their masters wife from the rest of the crowd.

Sighing maliciously he went back to his favourite hobby, watching the half naked girls and comparing various parts of the female anatomy, as someone poked his arm. Sneering, he turned around and found himself eye to eye with a little ice cream smeared midget in a tiny pink bikini. It carried a little bucket and a plastic shovel.

The thing was looking at him with huge sky blue eyes.

God knew he hated kids.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"Can I dig you in?" it asked.

"No. go away!"

"Pleaaaaaasseeee!" it whined.

Two looked at the little thing and pondered what to do. Then he used his best "I'm a bad ass"- stare.

"Boo!" he said experimentally.

Usually children started crying when they saw them. But not this one.

Silence.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!"

)()(

"Got a new girl friend?" One teased him as Persephone finally decided to leave the water.

Her small bikini seemed to have shrunken in the water.

"Hmmppfh!" Two grumbled. Then he smirked.

"Found the diaper?" he whispered evilly. One gulped.

"That's not funny!" he hissed.

"It is!"

"It's not!"

"It is!"

"It's not!"

"Stop it boys!" Persephone.

"Yes Mistress!"

)()(

As they finally returned Cain and Abel were already busy preparing a little snack.

Still snickering Two returned to the safety of the sunshade, a grumpy One behind him.

"Oh come on you can't be this resentfully, can you? It was just a joke!" Two nudged his arm lightly.

"It's not the joke..."

"No?"

One sighed and faced his brother.

"If you haven't noticed yet we're soaking wet, we're having sand in the shorts and seaweed in our hair." He pointed at Two and suddenly winced.

Two followed his gaze then gulped.

"And we suddenly discovered those shorts get transparent when wet..."

Two felt an almost unknown feeling creep up his spine: nervousness.

)()(

In the meantime, only 200 m away...

"Come on relax it's not _that _difficult!"

"This is repulsive. How do humans endure that?"

"Actually they enjoy it." The tall black haired woman with the sharp features commented.

"It is contradictory. All single aspects together form a situation that has to be unbearable..."

"Stop it Smith! May I remember you that it was your idea?" the woman interrupted.

"Yeah you wanted to learn human behaviour and this is a typically situation." Her companion laughed while grabbing a bottle of coconut tan lotion.

"Now be a good boy and let me rub you in!"

)()(

"Mmmhh something is missing..." the Merovingian surveyed the picnic table.

Salads, seafood, pasta, fresh bread, oyster, gazpacho, fresh exotic fruits, various desserts and wine.

The twins looked at the food longingly. Eventually they would leave after eating, but there was just little hope.

Suddenly their master's eyes lit up.

"Now I know what it is! You!" he pointed at One who mentally sighed.

"Frog legs get me some frog legs!"

)()(

While One went to get some frog legs Two decided to endure some more of the terrible sunshine to have a little privacy and let his clothes dry. He chose a somewhat isolated spot (Ha! The irony!), sat down on the sand, closed his eyes and tried to conjure some pleasant thoughts.

Knifes.

Guns.

The rebel whose throat they had slit some days ago.

The rage on Cains face as they secretly had replaced his depilatory cream with extra strong glue (the werewolves were extremely hairy especially on their backs).

Finally he felt the familiar smirk creep up his face and tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Please?" there was the poking again.

"No." he said without opening his eyes.

"Please?" more poking. He could almost picture the little plastic shovel behind closed eyes.

"I give you a sand cake if you let me!" the little girl offered.

Be patient! Maybe she goes away if you ignore her long enough.

"You look funny!"

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Think of something relaxing! Like the exile you blew up last week!

"Jenny?" a young female voice shouted.

Two finally dared to open an eye.

"Sweetheart I told you not to pester adults! And you ran away again!"

Two opened the other eye and watched a young woman in a dark green bikini approach the little girl. He risked another look and saw a mop of brown curls and huge amber coloured eyes that normally seemed to sparkle with mirth but were now clearly fogged with anger. Compared to their mistress Persephone she had some more weight on her hips but that didn't diminish her appearance.

Nice.

The woman grabbed the girl's arm and shook her for good.

Two raised his eyebrows. Usually human females tended to be far too indulgently with their offspring. He was pleasantly surprised.

"Oh I'm so sorry! She won't do that again I promise!" she said.

"My name's Chloe!"

Two smirked. Female humans who were searching for potential copulation partners always were a phenomenon that fascinated him enormously.

"Nice to meet you. My name is..." he looked around till his gaze fell on a comic book that one of the many children at the beach had lost during playing.

"Donald. My name is Donald!"

)()(

Next time:

One and the trouble with the society for the prevention of cruelty to animals

Smith trying to behave like a social being

Two aka Donald exploring the strange behaviour of human females during mating time

Neo and Persephone: forbidden love?

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